This is a question that few people do, even for thinking that the exchange of words the place does not change much. But for the most attentive people the difference is striking, because on one side we have the choice and the other dependency. In these cases the dependence is termed as emotional. Emotional dependence occurs when a person believes need each other to be happy, to feel good, to feel loved, to make their own decisions. These features have gradations after all we do not live isolated in the world. It may be a slight pain and barely noticeable or even a mental disorder that requires treatment. The beginning of change happens when the person can perceive and value. As Osho:. “If you are able to be happy when you are alone, you have learned the secret of being happy”
Some signs of a person emotionally dependent:
I can not / I do not deserve
the belief that creates the feeling of not being able or not worthy, may be present in the following situations: make a decision without having someone to give you tips, find it does not deserve an opportunity, not go to the doctor unaccompanied, do not wear an outfit without questioning whether her friend would wear the same thing, consider that any luxury object ever you would be fine, etc.
Influences of guilt
it is possible that the emotional dependent has not received their training opportunities to train independence. Parents super protect can spend unconsciously the information that the child is unable to choices and decisions, and that will never do anything alone. There are several forms of protection that may hinder the development of independence, one can be in the habit of doing everything for the child, tidy your room, pick up your toys, do not give any responsibility to it, etc.
Parents considered the fragile child may also pass, even if not the intention, the message that will never succeed, nor deserve, perform cool things in their lives can contribute to training an adult future “very humble” or in this case an emotional dependent who constantly need people to be told to do such as: Start friendships, flirting, shopping, interesting courses, a high-level career, etc.
There will be cases where the parents did not participate in this emotional dependence, but by personality traits of that person it will have addictive behaviors. Still there may be ways to change these limiting thoughts.
Friends maintain addiction?
I believe there is nothing more comforting than having a friend with whom we can count and also account with us. But sometimes, always be “tight end” the friend can contribute to the maintenance of emotional dependence. If the emotional dependent not use the opportunities offered by life, even if gradually, to put their opinions and desires can keep this dependence, as each received help can come the information that he can not do things for yourself.
Thais Martins Santos
Psicologa of ClinLife
CRP 04 24 638